Ever since I was a kid, it has always been my dream to either study at UP or UST in college. That was also my plan when I was in Grade 10. I promised myself that in Grade 12, I will both take the UPCAT and the USTET. I really had high dreams and hopes to enter these prominent universities.
As time passed by, I realized that these universities are hard to get in. When I was in Grade 11, I added CEU into my choices of universities. So as I reached Grade 12, I planned to take entrance exams at UST, UP, and CEU.
When the application period started, I kind of felt lazy and anxious. I do not know what to do. I have never been in this process of application. No one else will also do it for me. I seemed lost. I was afraid. I was not sure with what I want or what future holds. I just went with the flow.
The deadline for the application for the UPCAT was August. I felt it was too early. I have seen people who were so eager to pass the requirements and there I was I did not know what to do. I just let go of my UP dream. I decided not to take the UPCAT. In those days of reflecting, I realized I am not meant for UP. There are more people who deserve the slot (in case I pass).
The first entrance exam I took was USTET. I originally planned to take the first batch but I was not able to pass my requirements. So I took the second batch in October. The exam was hard in my opinion. I realized that I should have reviewed our Grade 11 lessons and not my Junior High School ones. I am glad I took this instead of having the same regret I had in Grade 10 when I did not apply for SHS.
I heard my classmates took an entrance exam at NU. They have told me about the scholarships the university offers so I got interested. We also received an invitation by the university to take the test at Pampanga High School for fee. My classmates and I went and took the test in November.
CEU was part of my choices. There were several times I attempted to fill out my application form. Then one day I just finally did. I expected to receive an e-mail afterwards but I never did. I do not know if it was because I exit the site right after the application or for whatever reason. One of my classmates asked what to do when he went to CEU. He was told that I should just go straight there. But until now I haven’t took the test. I just changed my mind. I no longer want to study there. I just realized I don’t like the ambiance of the university.
Fast forward to the results— In December, my classmates received an e-mail from NU that they passed the entrance exam. Unfortunately, I did not receive the same e-mail. I kind of felt sad that I failed the test but I felt relieved that some of my smart classmates did not make it, too (it is not that I’m happy they failed, but I felt consoled).
By January, I knew my USTET results— I was waitlisted. I was in between of being happy and being sad. I have heard that it is hard to gain a slot when you are waitlisted. I honestly feel anxious of what should I do next.
I only took two entrance exams so far— I failed on one and waitlisted on the other. Right now, I feel less confident. Most of my classmates had already taken entrance exams, and they passed them. But me, on the other hand, has not passed any. Where did I go wrong? What more I could have done?
I am now wondering should I just go to AUF which is my safest option (being near and accepts all applicants). Should I let go of my “Manila Dreams.” This university actually offers a quality education. But it has never been my dream to attend this university. I want to go far and explore the world. I want to go somewhere no one knows me which is definitely not AUF.
If I will fulfill my “Manila Dreams,” in which university will I go? Wait for a slot at UST? Look for another university? Will it be a right decision to not go to my dream university? I am super confused right now… anxious… and maybe scared, too.
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