On January 29, 2019, two of my classmates who took the USTET got their results. I was with one of them when he looked onto his results. Unfortunately, he did not make it. I felt sad for him since we have been together through the process. Then, in the afternoon, the other one sent me a chat and asked about my results. I replied that I will have mine tomorrow and I asked her about hers. She told me that she did not make it, too. Having heard about both of their results, I felt more anxious. If they did not make it, I am more likely to not pass it, too. I just expected the worst scenario that I will fail. Later at that night, I have searched for other universities/colleges that I can go to. I have seen few choices that I could consider. Before I slept, I prayed to God to let me pass the USTET. I was hopeful but not expecting.
On the next day, I woke up several times in my sleep. Then, finally when I checked my phone it was already 8:30 am. I was quite hesitant to check my results but there is nothing more I can do. I have to face it. Repeatedly, I told myself, “It is fine even if you did not make it. You have done your best.” Nervously, I logged in into my portal and looked on my results. First, I noticed the numerical scores I have. They were very low. Then, I looked next onto the verbal interpretation at the bottom, it says “qualified.” I moved my eyes at the top and saw my status “on-waiting list.” I looked down again and saw the general instruction.
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| The screenshot of my actual results. Something I really have never expected it would be-- in between of failing and passing. |
By that time, I honestly do not know what I should feel. I could not feel very sad because I did not totally fail. I could not also be very happy since I did not totally pass. I think this was something I did not see coming. I thought it would just either be black or white, but why is there gray? This made me confused because I am qualified but I have to wait for a slot. I was wondering should I just let go of my dream to enter this university or should I be hopeful and wait for a slot? I will be graduating high school in two months, but I do not know which university or college I will go. I have to figure this out very soon. I hope I will make the right decision for my future.
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